just arrived home from christmas dinner with my mum's family. it's the fourth day in a row we've been together with that part of the family. and to tell you the truth....i'm easily getting really tired of 'em. don't misunderstand me.....they can be sweet and i like them. but i really hate the fact that everybody in this family has such big ego's... and that many ego's in the same room for too long. can never be good. i'm almost convinced that they don't like me. 'cause everything i have to say doesn't seem to be as interesting as what my cousins have to say 'cause they are going to college studying and making to good grades, so....sure they are more important to listen to than stupid me. though they actually find it difficult talking about anything else but themeselves and their studies.

this sounds like me being jealous. but no...it's a fact. and they incl. my uncle always seem to think they know what i'm going to say, and....argh! fact is....i never feel good for very long in that company. and somehow it has spoiled my christmas a bit. my mum came home from work this morning, crying because of their behavour yesterday evening.

i can't deal with this anymore. but i don't know how to stop it. if it CAN be stopped?!