"oh lord what have i done to myself?
in the vicious world, such a vicious world
there isn't anything you can do
in this vicious world"
- rufus wainwright

i've had a shitty day. recieved a letter in the mail from the university telling me that my applications had arrived too late to even be considered. so...i guess i'm not going to study anything next year. and keep having boring jobs. not that the one i have now is that boring. but it isn't what i want to do in my life. i doesn't cry often. and thought i was doing so well. but it wasn't more than a letter that got my tears run down my face. i don't know what to do with my life right now? any suggestions ?

most of all i want to just marry me a rich man and sit back with no worries the rest of my life. i'm sick and tired of demands and responsibilty. and it doesn't help much when i'm still sick. i feel broken down. by every bone in my body....