i almost thought i could lay down and die or run the hell out of the store yesterday when i went shopping with my mum and we stood in this clothes shop and they played this song i for many reasons haven't heard the past 2 years...it must have been...maybe it's only one and a half.. whatever. the point is that i haven't been able to listen to regina spektor (especially not the song "samson") for ages because it brings up too many memories of the time with him and all these feelings bubbling inside and out of me. but lately i've considered trying to listen to her again...just like i've taken a lot of other steps i didn't dare take just 6 months ago. but decided it was best to get rid of my examinations before i'd tempt providence...but that was not the way it should be.

the first things that ran through my head as the tunes went on was if i should make up an excuse and go outside 'till it was over or stop my ears. but running out would make my mum start questioning and stopping my ears would look silly. so i tried to keep my nausea and heartbeat down and tried hard to come up with something distracting me from listening. but that didn't went so well...i realised though after the song that it wasn't the worst place and time i stumbled across it. maybe it would have been even worse to sit at home all alone listening to it, going down memory lane ?! only time will tell. i'm still having some examinations, so i am still not able to tempt providence fully.

anyways...gotta get back to my assignment...'cause i wont have the time for it tonight nor tomorrow or saturday. so as you might have guessed there will be a couple of days without any updates from me...hope you'll survive.