some time ago i read my some of my oldest journals and calendars. it strugged me how naive you can be at the age of 13-14-15.. how and when do you know when you've really tried to love?! definitly not when you are at that age. i used to fill my calendars with little poems and such things. about love. and i know that i really meant the things i said at that time. but today they means nothing. 'cause it wasn't love..

today i was surfing for hotels in london with danielle. i don't want to end on the same as last time i went there. it was really bad, dirty sheets and so. so i went to look after the hotels name in one of my old journals so we know what we don't have to look for. didn't find it. but found a letter that made me think back to that question i asked myself some time ago^... the letter said:

�Dear miss. Good afternoon.

With the respect that i have to you, i�m writting this letter with a great pleasure to tell you these few words that was inside me. Even my english is not so good. I�m the opprtunity to tell that you are very beautify infront of me, i don�t know if someone else has declared that to you but it will be good if i was the first because just seeing you passing i feel cool and my heart beat at about 100 km/h, but don�t laugh me, it�s the first time that i feel that for a girl, i�m afraid to ask you that, so as probably it is an offence for you. These words is connecting with only one word . I think that i love you.....(...)

The boy who has love for the time seeing you....(...)�

i got it (without naming anyone), from a guy i met on a vacation some years ago. i had talked with him one or two time. nothing special. but then he gave me this letter 2 days before my departure. i don't think he was in love with me. 'cause he didn't knew me. i don't know. but how could he know that he loved me?! isn't that a pretty strong word? -to love-