work today seemed even more impossible than yesterday and the other days. i feel it's getting harder and harder and more meaningless for everyday passing by.

my boss asked me today about what i'm going to do after christmas. my answer was; "nothing!". afterwards i thought about it...am i really going to do absolutely nothing?! i can't see through it now. actually i can't see through anything at the moment. it's really anoying. i tried to calm myself a bit by singing christmas carols.. haha.

then on my way home i realised that it isn't everybody else but yourself designing your own life. it is a bit frightning to think about, but it is the truth. and then i got tired. i guess the only way you can soulve this, is to take one day at a time and let time show you which way to go...