my day started out fine. thanks. rune, trine and i took my parents car, a bunch of my cd's and went to germany. to buy things. candy. beer. alcohol. we found a very cosy restaurant on our way home. where we could see the inlet of flensborg. a very beautiful view. the sun has shined all day. mmm. well...though i had a great trip with my cousins, i've had this strange feeling...and the last thing i needed, was to be alone. alone with this feeling. the growing feeling. baah. it's a bad feeling.

when i arrived home, my mum and dad went out sailing. i ran restless through the house, outstide and then inside again. jsut to discover that anders was doing my neighbour's garden. hah. fun. so i sat down on the stairs to keep an eye on him. i felt stupid. and was about to invite him over. but decided not to do so. and then i spent the rest of the evening watching 'the phantom of the opera' (great! when you have a suround sound system) and 'am�lie'. beautiful movies. but they are not designed for you to sit all by yourself, watching them. wow. what a loneliness. it hurts. even now. when i try to seek some comfort in this computer. baah.

i have two lyrics to end this entry....i think they match some of my thoughts runing through:

the mind has so many pictures
why can't i sleep with my eyes open
the mind has so many memories
can you remember what it looks like when i cry

i'm trying, trying to tell you
all that i can in a sweet and velvet tongue
but no words ever could sell you
sell you on me after all that i have done

i'm only the one you love
am i only the one you love?
the lady gloom and her hornets circling round
is now before us, the screaming's done without moving
one little move and for sure you will be stung

i'm singing "oh, jerusalem oh, jerusalem
see what he's picked up in the park"
let's f**k this awful art party
want you to make love to me and only to me in the dark

i'm only the one you love
am i only the one you love?

we've traded in our snap shots
we're going through the motions
into the view, i'm leaving you
down conduit avenue into the early morning
into the early morning
the one i love
are you only the one i love?
- rufus wainwright

in the morning i awake
and i couldn't remember
what is love and what is hate
the calculations error

oh, what is love and what is hate?
and why does it matter?
is to love just a waste?
and how can it matter?
oh.....

as the dawn began to break
i had to surrender
the universe will have it's way
too powerful to master
oh.....

what is love and what is hate?
and why does it matter?
oh.....
what is love and what is hate?
and how can it matter?
oh.....
- flaming lips