i cried myself to sleep last night again... i listened to explosions in the sky to help me fall to sleep, to run away from the pain and the thoughts. it went fine first...but then i came to this talking piece where this man talks away about death or something and this gun shot sounds...i gave a start and woke. dammit. luckily i fell a sleep again when the music stopped. or else i wouldn't have known what to do...

last night was doomed to boredom. i drank a couple of drinks...not that it made me feel any better and not that i got pissed or anything. fucked up. i killed some time reading some old entries and fell over this old entry where i rattle on about how naive you are when it comes - to love - when you are very young...by reading that old entry i realized that not even then i knew what it was...but i tell you...i know now. at least i know how much it can hurt...- to love -