i had a fucked up weird dream last night again. didn't sleep well. woke up by the rain splashing on my window and a song i'm not sure i have heard before with mikael simpson (huh?!) playing in my head. couldn't sleep again. it was 7 am. i gave up and started writing this letter... i wrote non-stop for 45 minutes before i had to get ready for going downtown to the university where i've been most of the day. i hope it has helped writing the letter so i can sleep better tonight.

i miss people. but i seem to get on everybody's nerves at the time. almost no matter what i do...it's wrong. sometimes i don't even do a thing. so i think i'd be better off staying away for a while...meaning cutting off my internet and probably also my cell phone. 'cause i'm tired of disappointing people and get disappointed by them. and cry myself to sleep. and feel like staying in bed forever in the morning. someone please give me some sleeping pills so i can sleep for at least half a year. people would be better off without me. and i'd be better off just going to sleep. staying out of trouble...