have you ever heard about the fact of overwhelming someone so much that they stop caring about you in every way ?! i hadn't really before i met this cool person last summer. first everything went well as every other incipient friendship is suppose to be...almost. then something happened...hard to explain exactly what, but something happened and i had to watch this wonderful friendship/relationship seep through my fingers. just like that. but i'm stubborn as hell and couldn't let this happen. not then, not now, not ever. and i'm still struggling to keep things together. many may ask if it's worth it and why not move on?! believe me, i ask myself the same things over and over...but then i get reminded of all the good things and then i'm back in the struggle trying to sort things out.

but recently i realized, maybe i've overwhelmed the other part so much that the other part don't know what to do and then i've got lost and got overwhelmed as well and that's were we've been stuck for so long time. 'cause i'm ready to forgive but it doesn't seem like this person is ready...and for what? we made this kind of pact a couple of days ago and i finally thought we were on the our way to the right path again. but then yesterday i hit my head against the wall again and went down the hill once again. only this time i got angry and not sad. it seems like we're both overwhelmed (helpless) in this situation unless we take things up once again and once and for all forgive and move on. i need moving on. i'm falling to pieces here...