just arrived home from my grandmother's 85th birthday...hell of a day! first of all i really didn't feel like going when i woke up this morning. then, when we finally arrived and sat down...i kind of expected to get some conversations started as it isn't a hell lot we see each other in this family anymore...but nothing happened. and it seemed like every attempt i did, failed. for example, my cousins boyfriend is dutch, so we had to speak english to communicate. but i didn't feel like speaking english, as i just wanted to speak with my cousin and tell her about what's going on with my life and hear about hers and so...but she was cold as ice. so already during the first course, i felt like going out in the car and listen to music or get my little brother to drive me home....but my cousins boyfriend appeared to be a wonderful guy, lightning up the table and get people smiling. luckily enough.

then my back started hurting...as my stomach started hurting as well... and the one-man-band or soup-roast-and-ice cream music playing in the room annoyed me pretty much. the air between me and my cousin finally thawed out a bit after a couple of hours...right before they left the party actually. typically.

my uncle apparently don't like me. as i've tried to get a carpet for the stage at the student house through him (he owns a carpet store)...but he doesn't seem interested in any way...no matter what i do...which both my mother, father and aunt finds very odd. and actually i'm very disappointed at him of the way he's acting. my cousin always tells me that i likes me very well and everything...but my mum tells me the opposite...and actually i mostly experience hostility from him. i don't get why he dislike me this much...

another thing i really dislike about this site of my family, is the great selfishness everyone has. me me me me...and then....me. yes.. i have it too...but at least i try to turn it a bit down in difference to my aunts and my cousin and my uncle...i think it's a thing i have from my mum and father...as they are always the ones doing the hard work when my grandmother and my aunt has birthday (it's the same day...and they always arrange a whole lot and let other people do the dirty work).

...i'm just happy i wont have to go to their actual birthday tomorrow. and my uncle wont by the way get any chance selling me that stupid carpet!