we got an assignment yesterday in our narratolgy lecture where we in groups of four had to choose a number each (from 1-4 of course).

1. had to choose a place that has made a difference for the person one way or another, as long as it didn't get too personal.
2 + 3. had to choose a person who's made a difference in the life of the concerned. and still not a person too close (family or girl-/boyfriends).
4. had to choose an object which means a lot to the concerned.

i chose to be number 3 as that's my lucky number. so i had to choose a person. of course i chose tim c. without thinking the situation through . i thought my group was the only ones who had to know...but the reason why we had to choose all these things were because we had to write a story including the four things within 5 minutes and then read it out loud to the rest of the class. EMBARRASSING!

those of you who have read this diary since i started writing it 6 years ago, knows why tim has made such a big impact in my life. those you who haven't may think it's a ridiculous choice, 'cause he's a musician. a musician who's not really one you're likely to show off with when you're my age. and how and why could he possible have made such an impact?! - if you're curious, read here, here, here and here. or take a look in my archive (older) if you got the time.

anyways...back to the embarrassing thing...why was it so embarrassing when the rest of the class were presented to the story we never really wrote...well...one of the reasons surely was because of this certain person who was there. although the person in question knows why tim has made this impact on my life...but still i think it was embarrassing. all this made me speculate...'cause if i think it's embarrassing to admit who has (amongst others) made me who i am today...then how can i stand by with who i am ?! does that make me and my identity false?! my mind is divided when it comes to these questions...

it makes me think of my motto: 'take it or leave it' > accept me as i am or leave me alone. and if i have to live up to this motto, then i should really not care about what people think when i bring tim up as a milestone in my life...