we all have this need to drag attention to ourselves in order to be confirmed, one way or another. some do it in very obvious ways (and sometimes too much) and others do it in more disguised ways. often the obvious ways doesn't even help. 'cause when you draw peoples attention to your needs yourself, it doesn't have the same affect as if they give it to you of their own accord. plus it isn't even sure that they would give you their attention even if you reminded them of it. it doesn't neccesarily mean they don't like you nor the things you may have made so they can comment on them. or at least i keep telling myself. 'cause in many ways i act the same way to the people i know. i make sure to praise or criticise their work (yes i'm kind of very straightforward when it comes to show) whenever i feel like it and i prefer to do it in more personal ways (by phone, face to face, private chats or by mail) than writing comments for everybody to see.

so maybe i'm using the more disguised ways to get and give the attention? i think i do. although i use the obvious way now and then.

anyway...i'm trying to enjoy my very long weekend. all by myself (as usual). it's begining to get hard enjoying it. as the past keep haunting my mind and i'm fed up with being lonely. i spent all day yesterday in my apartment doing a lot of practical stuff. so i think a good way for me to maybe be able to enjoy the rest of the weekend, is to go out for a walk. a walk downtown to the library. yeah...i'll do that...cross your fingers that it'll help 'cause i would hate to become depressed all over again.