i fell asleep in a lot of pain and tears last night. but woke up this morning feeling pretty numb and indifferent. maybe it's time to let go for real? don't know. last night was a huge sign in the wrong direction anyways...

last night started out great though. i went to see my two friends N and J playing an acoustic set with their project The Basement Sessions. it was very cosy and people listened. afterwards it was Hymns From Nineveh's turn to hit the stage...and it got even more cosy. by this time the room was filled up with people, but you almost didn't notice as they were so quiet that you didn't even dare to breath. it was soooo beautiful. C and her friend were there to join me, and M and his friend and J and N stayed around for Hymns as well...they really enjoyed it...and that makes me freaking happy!

afterwards there was this jazz-thing where M (another M) was playing percussion. i love to see him play as he always smile all over his face. but somehow it got more and more difficult for me to smile. because one of my other so called friends + big part of M's and his band was present and standing/sitting/dancing 1-2 metres away from me and it had a huge impact on my mood.

this must be the song of the day: